Family. It is a word where for some it is associated with love, understanding, a safe place, culture, norms and the list goes on. On the other hand, for some, the word family is often tied to the words misery, difficulties, heart aches, suffocating and any word that you can think of which describes negativity.
In each family, there are always individuals with different roles and responsibilities – which leads to different outcome of personalities. This does not happen naturally of course, but instead it is because of the upbringing by the parents themselves. In some situations, especially where the family is a big one, with let’s say two to five siblings or more are involved, there would definitely be mixed situations happening if not every hour, every day. These situations are often caused by mixed ways of interacting with each other, various conversations which turns into arguments or even a huge fight which turns into a long period of not speaking to each other.
These feelings then turn a person to being anxious being around the other because of all the tension involved. Another instance is where in a big family there’s always an uncle or a cousin which is loud, a criticist or even an aunt who is obnoxious. This results in children or even adults having a phobia because of all those teasing, and feeling uncomfortable which then turns them into being sore when attending family reunions or gatherings. They feel that they do not have control over their feelings and actions – which then leads into them becoming deliberately scared to not only attend these get-together, but also very cautious in their daily lives.
Although it can be and for some it is very difficult to go on with their daily lives, there are many ways to control the ‘inner voice’ inside of you which is telling you to either “shut out” or “fight back with harsh words”, which eventually will help with the anxiety or make it worse, depending how you use the techniques. One solution is you need to find a distraction by reading a book, magazine or even checking ‘nothing’ on your mobile phone. By doing this, you know that at the back of your mind you will always have something to divert to when things get uncomfortable. For an alternative resolution, you could excuse yourself when you start feeling those negative feelings creeping into you (but for a more permanent resolution, checkout the panic away book here). Go get a drink to calm those nerves down, find someone else to talk to or get in your car and go to the nearest store to treat yourself to some ice cream! Learn to talk to yourself and calm yourself down. Tell yourself that there is not a single positive vibe that comes out when you are anxious, and that those feelings are smaller than you – the most important person in your life.
There are many alternate ways to overcome anxiety, but what matters most is that you are mentally and emotionally stable to understand and admit that you have it and to control the situation whenever possible.